October 1, 2026 2 min read

Perimenopause and anxiety about memory: breaking the loop

Short answer: Worrying about your memory can make memory lapses more frequent, because anxiety uses up the working memory you need to focus and recall. In perimenopause this often becomes a loop: a lapse triggers fear of dementia, the fear makes the next lapse more likely. Understanding how common and usually temporary perimenopause brain fog is, and measuring it calmly, helps break the loop.

You forget a word. Then you spend the rest of the meeting thinking about the fact that you forgot it. Then you forget something else. By the evening you are typing symptoms into your phone.

The loop

Worry is not just a feeling. It takes up space in working memory, the same small mental workspace you use to hold a sentence, follow a conversation and remember why you walked into the room. When part of that space is busy monitoring your own memory, there is less left for the task. More lapses follow, and they feed the worry.

The International Menopause Society notes that brain fog often causes anxiety because women fear it means early dementia. (International Menopause Society, 2022) Many women describe exactly that fear, and most never say it out loud.

What the evidence says about the fear

Up to 60 percent of women in the menopause transition report memory or concentration problems.
Between 87 and 89 percent still score normal or near normal on cognitive tests.
Dementia at midlife is rare, about 293 cases per 100,000 women, unless early onset Alzheimer's runs in the family.
In the SWAN study of 2,362 women, the dip in memory during perimenopause was temporary. (Greendale et al., Neurology, 2009)

Perimenopause can also raise anxiety directly

New anxiety, irritability and low mood are common in perimenopause, even in women who never had them before. So the worry is not only a reaction to the fog. It can be another symptom of the same transition. Both are worth mentioning to your doctor, because both can be treated.

How to break the loop

Name it in the moment. "That was a word finding lapse. It is common. Carry on." Labelling it stops the spiral.
Measure weekly, not hourly. Checking yourself all day feeds anxiety. A calm score once a week gives a real picture.
Breathe out slowly before a big meeting. A longer exhale than inhale calms the stress response.
Protect sleep. Tired brains worry more and remember less.
Talk to someone. A doctor, a friend going through the same thing, or a therapist. Fear shrinks when it is said out loud.

When to see a doctor

If worry is constant, affecting sleep or work, or if memory is steadily worsening, see your doctor. If there is early onset dementia in your family, mention it.

Replace the worry with a number

The 90 Day Word Log gives you one calm check a week instead of a hundred anxious ones. Two minutes, five questions, scored 0 to 5.

Get the free 90 Day Word Log